Diane: So first off tonight Marc, I wanted to ask you about this image that I have in my mind which I love. When we were last speaking to our dear friend Alison Ailfinn Allan a few weeks back, she said that when you need to come close to earth you hang out over the water. In fact, she said that you were out over the Pacific Ocean because that’s as close as your spirit energy, in its entirety, can get to me. She said that you appeared to her like you were hanging from a wire. I just love that because I know how much you love water.

When we started to do the trance channeling, I remember you said that there wasn’t any way that all of your energy could come into my human body. It would just implode!  You’ve given me glimpses into how large your spirit energy is and even though you can be very subtle to channel, your energy is very forceful.

Now I know that when we come into a body, we obviously can’t bring all of us because a body couldn’t stand it. I’ve spoken to some spirits who tell me that they have either brought too much or not enough. We speak with our guides about what would be the best level, but then we always have the last decision. So my point about this would be what? I lost my train of thought!

Marc: I think your point was that at least for us, this whole process has taken longer than you anticipated because there is a fine line or balance to how much of my energy I can bring into your body.

Diane: Yes that’s it! You are working now on getting enough into my body so that you can control it and be able to speak and answer questions and all of that….

Marc: Yeah that’s right.

Diane: So I don’t think that I realized when we started trance channeling how involved it was going to be and how careful you have to be in order to not mess up my body. For the past week or so, I’ve been building up my energy using the same technique that I learned for doing aura healings. Then a few days ago, your energy seemed to stop! I was in a bit of a panic until you explained that as we are getting closer to our goal, we hit a snag because my body set up a road block. I remember I asked Alison about bodies and she said that it’s wired into our DNA to react when a foreign energy wants to enter them because it sees you as an invading force. It fears that if you take over, it will die and they aren’t programmed to accept that. You showed me an image of you approaching my body and there was a roadblock and I had my hands up saying “You can’t go further”. Felicia, my guide who is helping us, said that you will need to work your charms on this situation and that if anyone can you can. Well charming you are indeed Mr. Bolan! I think that it’s interesting that my body appears to have a mind of its own, but confusing for me because my own mind says all systems go!

Marc: Yeah Diane, that’s right. We knew that there was the possibility that this would happen towards the end. Your body has been fighting the process all along, but we can work around it. Did you want to talk about how much you enjoy speaking with another medium?

Diane: Well I was thinking about that right now yes. It’s so wonderful to have someone who can read your mind! We really love talking with Alison don’t we?

Marc: Yeah we do Diane. She’s a cool chick.

Diane: She is. Plus I love that you speak British slang and words to her because I’m not used to hearing that anymore and it’s so much fun!

Every time we speak with Alison, who is an amazing medium, it’s not only fun but a great validation for me because she’ll say something that you are telling her, and then I’ll say “Oh yeah Marc just told me that yesterday!” I asked her what she was getting about the trance channeling delay from you and she got the same response that I did – that there were issues that were being worked out on both sides. She also brings in new information for me and it’s such a lark. I love it!

Marc, did you have anything specific planned for tonight? I think that we were talking about my taking the reins and just calling out to have some energy come forward and see what I get?

Marc: Would you be up for something like that Diane?

Diane: Well I think that on a spirit level, I’m saying yeah no problem, but on a human level, I’m thinking that I’m not sure where to start. I’m always fine once we get to a location or guests start arriving on the show, but it’s usually something that you’ve set up ahead of time.

Marc: Well Diane, as you were writing that, you were also picking up that you’ve actually had a hand in all of this but from your perspective, you aren’t allowing yourself to see that.

Diane: Interesting! I guess not as openly as I should you are right. Okay well shall we give it the old school try?

Marc: Yeah whatever phrase fits the bill. Where would you like to start?

Diane: OMG I don’t know Marc. I guess I have some fear that I’ll lead us to a black hole, but then we’ve already spoken with one of those and it was fun.

Marc: Well since you’ve reasoned that out, is it lessening the fear?

Diane: It isn’t fear, but more hesitation. Can you offer a suggestion about how to start?

Marc: Well Diane, I would just sit still for a bit and send out energy feelers to the cosmos and see what you get back.

Diane: Great suggestion Marc! Let me try that and see who or what answers!

I’ve sent the energy feelers out and I can see that there is a lot of energy coming back at me, but so far, it just looks like masses of bubbles bouncing up and down. There are so many that they are crowding together. It’s like the universe only has a small space for them and they all want my attention. Shall we just see who comes forward and meet with them?

Marc: Well that’s one way of doing it.

Diane: What would be another?

Marc: Would you just start already!

Diane: LOL okay! I’m standing on what looks to be white clouds and you are on my left.

Marc: I’m playing MC.

Diane: Oh you are? I’m seeing masses of energies that are bumping up and overlapping onto each other but they all look the same except for size and energy. They are saying that once they come forward, they will present whatever image they want to show me. Okay so who wants to be first?

I see a young woman coming forward with short red hair and her clothing looks like it doesn’t fit her. She has a cardigan on that looks like it belongs to her father. Her energy isn’t confident but not sure why that is yet. Okay this is interesting because she is giving me the impression that she is very poor but obviously she isn’t physical anymore. Can you please come closer and tell us your name?

Spirit: My name is Lydia. I know that it doesn’t suit me. I don’t look like a Lydia and my parents were disappointed in me as well.

Diane: Why do you say that?

Lydia: Because I wasn’t beautiful and vivacious like my Mother.

Diane: This is odd as well. You are appearing to me to be someone who was poor and wore hand me downs but yet I’m seeing your Mother as a flapper in the 1920s dressed in beautiful clothing. Am I getting this confused somehow?

Lydia: No that was my Mother. She always wore lavish gowns, drank cocktails and liked to go to speakeasies. She liked the company of men to feel attractive.

Diane: Then why the drab attire?

Lydia: Well for want of a better reason, it represents how I feel about myself.

Diane: Why are you down on yourself? Because you feel that you didn’t live up to your parent’s expectations? Since you’ve crossed over, is this still an issue for you?

Lydia: Well not normally in my other past lives, but for some reason, I still resent the fact that I wasn’t whom I thought I was supposed to be.

Diane: So you are saying that you never felt comfortable being who you were in that life and you are still healing from it?

Lydia: Yes….I guess that’s what I’m saying.

Diane: So how can we help you with this?

Lydia: When I heard that you were going to speak with spirits tonight, I thought it would be good to come forward first as that would show myself that I do have some initiative.

Diane: Well you are right…it does. How else can we help?

Lydia: I’m just wondering how long I want to feel like this?

Diane: That would be a good question to ask yourself. Now if your mother was a flapper, you haven’t been over in spirit too long I wouldn’t think?

Lydia: No not too long but then part of me feels that I’ve been back long enough to have gotten over this.

Diane: Everyone heals in their own time. You have been getting help from your guides about this right?

Lydia: Oh yes very much so! My guides are wonderful and very supportive. They never give up on me and tell me how much I have to offer but that hasn’t sunk in yet.

Diane: That’s probably because inside you truly don’t believe it. Self worth is one of those things that you have to believe for yourself. It isn’t something that someone can tell you about.

Lydia: Yeah I know that as well, but I just can’t seem to get past my feelings.

Diane: Well why do you have such low self esteem? You are telling me that you often heard your Mother disown you when she was talking with her friends – saying things like you couldn’t really be her daughter because you didn’t act or look like her. That couldn’t have been easy!

Lydia: She would say things like that and pretend to onlookers that I was out of ear shot because she didn’t want to seem rude, but she knew that I could still hear her.

Diane: Well have you met up with your Mother in spirit and understood that this was just role playing? Hmm, I’m not getting an answer back from you on that one. Lydia? Where did your energy go? You just took a run. Why did you do that?

Lydia: Because I’m not comfortable answering the question.

Diane: So maybe we are getting somewhere now? Are you saying that you haven’t spoken to the spirit who played your Mother that time around?

Lydia: She has approached me several times, but I won’t speak with her.

Diane: Why not?

Lydia: Because I still can’t find it in my heart to forgive her for what she did to me.

Diane: I’m sure that your guides told you that there isn’t any rush to healing. They will help and support you right?

Lydia: Oh yes they are wonderful. They say the same things to me that you are saying.

Diane: But you don’t believe them?

Lydia: Yes I guess that I do but for some reason, it still doesn’t alter how I feel about the situation.

Diane: Well yes, I can see why you are sad then Lydia. I’ve had experiences as well when a situation didn’t turn out how I expected because it involved emotions and someone else. I couldn’t control what they did or how they felt and it left me sad, more often than not. But when I look back on them now, they don’t hurt anymore. I know that it’s said that these kinds of things make you stronger, and I do think that’s true. It helps us to decide what we want and don’t want. Finally I just said that I’m going to be with someone who loves me for who I am and now I’m happily ever after! I know this isn’t something romantic for you, but it is similar.

Lydia: Well I suppose that it is because it involves emotions and relationships and how you feel about yourself. I do have the understanding that if you don’t have much self worth, how is anyone else going to love you.

Diane: Where was your father in all of this?

Lydia: My father was very meek when it came to my Mother. He was much older and was proud of the fact that his wife was young and beautiful. He let her run the family just because it was easier for him. He didn’t like to get involved in emotions. He had other interests outside the family and that’s where he spent his time.

Diane: So you don’t feel that he was supportive of you either?

Lydia: In the financial sense he was. I went to the proper boarding school for a young wealthy woman and I got to travel and see Europe. I enjoyed that – especially looking at art museums. He was too busy to bother with me much though.

Diane: So whom did you travel with then?

Lydia: Oh they usually fobbed off an elderly relation like an Aunt who didn’t have the means to travel on her own. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful, but I guess that I was looking for love from them and it wasn’t offered. I should have found another way of bringing love into my life, I guess. I had one boy whom I really liked a lot and we were engaged for a brief time. He ran off with someone else whom he fancied more and who could support him as well. After that…having my heart broken, I never tried again.

Diane: So you never found a way to love yourself then?

Lydia: No I didn’t.

Diane: You have come forward to tell us your story Lydia, I think, because you are tired of feeling this way and maybe this is the start to healing? What would you say to that?

Lydia: Well yes..I guess that’s an idea. I’m surprised that I pushed my way forward in front of the others and that I’m speaking out loud like this.

Diane: Maybe it helps to tell someone new and bounce ideas off them?

Lydia: Well I must have done it for some reason, because otherwise this wouldn’t be occurring.

Diane: Well Marc, what do you have to say to all of this? We aren’t here to give advice. I’m not a big one on advice.

Marc: No neither am I.

Diane: I mean…who wants to get advice? No one. But is there anything you want to say to Lydia?

Marc: Well Lydia, as you know, I went through some similar circumstances in my last physical life dealing with self esteem at times and I could be good at feeling sorry for myself. I often wished that I could change the situation that I was in. At some point, I had to pull myself up and get on with things. I came to terms with the fact that even though the world wasn’t going to change and be like it was before, I was still part of it and I didn’t want to spend what little time I had in it in self pity and sadness. Not everything was perfect for me, but I came around a bit.

Lydia: Yes but it looks like you have someone who loves you and you have gotten over the pain?

Marc: Yeah I did Lydia, but I had a time of healing as well.

Diane: I think that just talking about things that we find upsetting can really help. So Lydia, I’m wondering if you have any friends here in spirit outside of your guides whom you can meet up with and go places?

Lydia: Well yes, I do, in fact. I have some friends here who used to be at the boarding school with me. We would plan elaborate escapes and enjoyed art classes together. Back then, women weren’t taught much of anything else.

Diane: What’s to stop you from getting together with them now? You are saying to me that you feel that they are leading exciting lives in spirit and they wouldn’t be interested? You are telling me that they have reached out to you but you keep putting them off because it’s just easier?

Well even though I’m not one to offer advice (LOL) I might want to give them a chance. You are saying that they have gotten on from their lives that time around and you feel that they won’t be interested in hearing about your sadness as Lydia. I don’t know about that. They might be because it was a shared experience. They might have similar stories to tell you that you haven’t heard yet. At least it would be a start right?

Lydia: It might be something that I would like to do. We did enjoy art and we did travel together. We played pranks on some of the teachers and that might be fun to talk about again.

Diane: Then I think that you have a plan Lydia. Start with your old school friends. They are telling me to not let the fact that they aren’t who they used to be put you off from seeing them. They are saying that they will go back to those personas if it will make it easier for you. They are here now. I can see them waiting for you. Ready to take that chance?

Lydia: Well I guess so. Like I said, I know that I came forward for a reason and maybe this is it?

Diane: Maybe it is! Good luck Lydia!

Later on…

Diane: Gosh Marc, now that was an interesting conversation. I didn’t know what to expect and then Lydia comes forward. She kept saying she was meek and humble yet she powered her way in front of the group. There is so much more to her then she is allowing herself to see. I guess we might all be able to say that.

I know that there are spirits who can’t let go of what they experienced in past lives. Guides can offer support, but just like on earth, you have to find a way to heal yourself to come to terms with what is troubling you.

Marc: You’re right Diane. Lydia didn’t do that in that life, so she will have to continue in spirit until she resolves it within herself.

Diane: So are you saying that it’s going to be difficult for her to move forward until she discovers what made her have such low self esteem in that life? I’m picking up from her now that during that life, she blamed her parents for this. Now in spirit, she knows better then that, but still can’t resolve it.

Marc: She does seem a bit confused about that doesn’t she.

Diane: Well I guess baby steps are necessary here and sometimes that’s the best way. Everyone is on their own healing schedule. I guess I’m just curious how long spirits will continue on with something like this? I know it’s an individual thing and she’ll move on when she is ready.

On another note Marc, I’ve been listening to one of your unfinished songs called “Love for Me”. I know it’s just a demo but I love it! I listen to it when I take my walks and the beat and energy you put into it really gets me up those hills! Even though part of me wishes that it was finished, I kind of like it just as it is. It feels like you were setting up the timing for the lyrics. I’ve heard some of these demos before and how you went from one version to another. A few nights ago, you were telling me that you made a lot of versions of songs and that you tried to record them as much as possible?

Marc: Yeah that’s right because I had so many songs going through my mind at the same time. They would just have gotten jumbled up if I didn’t have some way of sorting them out and getting them on tape.

Diane: Was this process something that you enjoyed or was it frustrating trying to keep them all together?

Marc: Well I went through several scenarios with songs. Sometimes I would have them in my head and even get them onto tape but they still never seemed to gel. Other times, they came together much faster and then I knew that I had a hit. Sometimes though, I thought I had a hit and I didn’t.

Diane: Well we’ve talked about the fact that once you got a recording that you liked, you didn’t need to keep dubbing over or doing redos. You really had a keen sense of when it was right for you?

Marc: Yeah that’s exactly right Diane. I knew when the vibe was right for a song and once it was on tape the way I wanted it, that was it for me. I didn’t tinker with it too much, if at all after that. For songs like “Get it On”, I did change the arrangement when I did it live later on, because I had just sung the bloody thing so much that I needed to update it a bit to keep my sanity.

Diane: Well music is a changeable art that’s for sure. Thanks Marc for chatting with us tonight. We’ll talk soon!

© Bolan-Beaty Boogie

May 6, 2020